Tag Archive | Savana

Joy’s Journal 2-13

I know this is short, but I wanted to have at least a short part up today since it’s been so long since I posted Joy’s Journal last. 

After I told my ‘friends’ my secret they left me. No one belived me, and they thought I was taking advantenge of them. Savana had been hanging around with other friends, and I don’t even think she noticed anything was wrong.

I spent most of my free time alone, often crying.

joy's rest

One day I was flopped on my bed in our room. I wasn’t really doing anything in particular.

Callie's here

Savana and a girl I didn’t know came in. I watched this girl look around the room, barely noticing me.

What-

The girl looked over her shoulder in my direction.

“Your roommate is the girl who lied to everyone?” She gasped. “How can you stand it?”

Savana didn’t actually agree to it, but neither did she deny it. “Yeah, that’s Joy.” She just said.

Leanny

“Come on Callie.”

Then they left without even a second glance at me.

lexie-sign-off

Joy’s Journal 2-10

This was only the beginning of such sleepovers. I would have skipped them, but I was scared that my friends wouldn’t like me. So I went to all of them, staying in my room to sleep every day after. I fell farther and farther behind in my classes, but at the moment I didn’t really care. I just wanted to make it through alive.

dscn46601                         Roberta was the first to pick up on it. One day she confronted me about it.  dscn46611                         “Joy, I want to know why every time we have a sleepover you skip classes.”

“Um.” What could I say to that? “I have a reason, but for now you don’t need to know.”

Roberta was not satisfied with that. She told the rest of our group about it, and the were always pestering me, being quite mean. They didn’t believe me, and they really wanted to know. One time I even caught Roberta reading my journal. dscn46621                         After one really hard day I was taking a nap. Savana came down to our room.dscn46631                         “Joy are you okay?” dscn46641                          And then to my surprise I had smacked her, and she was laying on the ground.

I cried myself to sleep.

Joy’s Journal Part 2-9

When I was getting ready to do this part I realized that all the dolls were in new clothes, and I didn’t have to change their clothes. YESSSSSSSSSSSS!

I don’t know how they do it. Really I don’t.

At that moment ‘it’ was have a sleepover, stay up till two in the morning, and then go to classes. The rest of the girls at Roberta’s sleepover had slept in her room, but since mine was right next door I went to my own.

dscn44871                        And when I woke up I was exhausted. I knew I couldn’t do classes that day. I just couldn’t. dscn44881                          I saw that there was a notebook right next to my bed. dscn44891                          So I grabbed the book and scribbled something. dscn44901                          Sick today can’t come to classes -Joydscn44911                         “Can you deliver this to the secretary?” I asked Savana. She grabbed the note and read it. dscn44921

“I guess.” She sounded worried. “Are you really going to be okay by yourself?”

“Don’t worry Savana.” I insisted. “The secretary will send the nurse down here to make sure I’m really sick.”

“Okaayyyy.” She still sounded worried. “Feel better Joy.”

Then she was gone. dscn44931                        And pretty soon Ellen arrived.

“Oh it’s you Joy. I wasn’t sure who was in room 768.”

“Yup it’s me.”

“Normally I would check to see if you are really sick, but with you, I think it’s fine. You can stay in here today.”

“Good.”

“How are you feeling.”

And that’s when I lost it.

“What do you think! Would I not be going to classes if I was okay?” dscn44941                       Ellen plopped in the chair.

“Oh Joy.” She sighed then seemed to come up with something. “Have a nice day.”

And then she was gone.

Joy’s Journal Part 2-8

Yes, this was supposed to be posted a long time ago. Like on November 1st. So just pretend it is November 1st, and you’ll be good. 

Savana was spending more time with her horseback riding friends, and we didn’t have any classes together, so I started hanging out with Roberta. Her group was the popular one, the one everyone loved and wanted to be with. This group wasn’t all that great though…..dscn44411                        While we were eating lunch I saw Savana wandering around, looking for a place to sit. dscn44421                          I waved her over to where I was.

“Sit with us Savana.”

“Her! Sit with US?” Serenity answered. “Nope. Go sit with the rest of your loser friends.”

“Then I’ll come sit with you.”dscn44441                      But Savana had already turned away.

It wasn’t bad though. It was kind of fun being in the popular group here. But really I just missed Savana.

lexie-sign-off

Joy’s Journal Part 2-6

dscn42531

“JOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!”

I turned over and put my pillow over my head. “Be quiet Hope!”

“Oh Joy,” Savana Laughed. “We are at this boarding school, River Valley, not home.”

dscn42541                              I sat up. She was right. A bell rung. I realized that I had slept in my clothes and I hurried out of bed to change.

dscn42551                         I was trying to pull my hair into braids, when the bell rang.

“Is that the breakfast bell?”

“No Joy, that is the late bell.” She took off running, leaving me behind. dscn42561                                                                                               When I got to my class they were  doing names. I had had a hard time falling asleep the night before and I was really tiered.

dscn42581                                                                          The teacher was about as far away as she could get from me. I rested my head against the table for just a minute. And I fell asleep.  dscn42601                          I felt a tap on my head. “Hello?” The teacher said. “And what name do you have the honer of having?” dscn42611                           “Ummm.” I stuttered. “What was the question? Oh, I won’t know it. I fell asleep.” I admitted hesitantly.

“What is your name?”

“Joy Fully.”

Her expression softened. “It’s okay Joy. You can get a pass and go to the nurse’s office. Just try to stay awake from now on.” dscn42591                      The Teacher walked back up to her desk. 
dscn42621
                          As I walked out of the room I saw a girl raise her hand.

“I forgot a pencil.”

“Then use Roberta’s!” She snapped.

Why was she being so nice to me? I wondered. Then it dawned on me. She knew about my chronic illness.

Lexie

Joy’s Journal Part 2-5

Today was the day we drove to River Valley school. It was five hours away, too far too come and go every day so we were to be boarding students.

dscn37831           I don’t know what happened when we got to the checkout desk, but Savana suddenly lost it.

dscn37841             “Joy Fully is in room 876 and Sava-”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I wanna be with JOY!”

“Sorry. You are in room 43-”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I won’t do it unless I can be with JOY!” dscn37851           Savana’s mom stepped up.

“Actually Joy probably should be with someone she knows, or she won’t take it well. She has been known to do some not so smart things when she is sad, and she might try to run away if she isn’t with Savana.”

I hoped she was making some of that up, but it worked, and we got to room together.

“You too may go up to room 768 but Mrs Parker stays here.”

We said tearful goodbyes and went up to our room. dscn37861            It wasn’t much, but a place to call our own.  I saw a bunk bed, a ladder/shelf, a desk (Why not two?) and a sink. dscn37871           Tired from hours in the car I jumped up to the top bunk and fell asleep. dscn37881           Savana jumped up to me, I don’t know how much later.

“Someone came to our door and asked for Joy Fully to come to the nurse’s office.” dscn37901            The place wasn’t much bigger than ours, decorated the same way. The nurse sat in a chair. dscn37911

“Hello?”

“JOY!”

Suddenly I knew the nurse’s name=. She used to be my school nurse, back when I was little.

“Ellen!”

“What are you doing here Joy? Don’t you have a good school?”

Tearfully I told her my story, ending with: “And with my chronic illness and all my parents decided to send me here.”

“You still have that?”

“The chronic illness?”

“I was afraid this would happen.” Ellen groaned.

“What?”

“When you were younger your chronic illness wasn’t nearly as bad. I was hoping it would go away, but it only got worse it seems.”

“All too soon.”

dscn37921             I hopped on the top bunk. dscn37931            Ellen jumped after me.

“Mind if I give you some advice?”

“Yes please.”

“If you aren’t felling well skip a day of classes. Don’t push yourself, or you could make yourself extremely sick.”

Oh how I wish I’d listened.

Lexie

Joy’s Journal 2-4

dscn36971                         After we came home from the hospital I sat in my bed, being sad. I didn’t want to leave my family OR Savana. I wished we could all just stay here. Maybe, maybe I can get out of it. But then I would have to leave Savana.

dscn36991                          “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRG.”

Savana came out of nowhere and came to sit on my bottom bunk.

“Hi Joy! Why are you screaming? I’m leaving tomorrow, did you know? I’ll miss you so much.”

“Hi Savana. I’m screaming because I’m frustrated.”

“Why are you frustrated?”

“Because my parents decided to send me to boarding school with you, and I don’t want to leave them.”

“That’s great!–for me. What about your sisters? Aren’t they coming with you? You will be able to see them too.”

“My parents decided on only me-because I am ‘hard to take care of.'” I burst out crying.

“Oh Joy, it’s not all THAT bad. You could be going alone. At least we will have each other.” dscn37001                       Savana jumped up.

“I’ll be right back!” dscn37011                         She came and dumped a bunch of clothes on my bed, trying to distract me probably.

“I think you should take all of these.”dscn37021                        Then she put one more thing on the pile-a very special shrug of hers that I had always loved.

“I think you should take this too.”

“I can’t! It’s yours!”

“I am giving it to you. When things happen, and you know they will, you can be reminded that I’m still here for you.”

Lexie

Joy’s Journal 2-2

This is the first part. This is Joy’s first journal.

dscn35881                         Savana was at my house that day. It was not a good day. It didn’t help that this was going to be one of my last days with Savana before she left.

CLUNK

dscn35891                         “I’ll go see what that is.” Savana offered.

I was glad. I didn’t really want to get up. Savana knew that, and she wouldn’t make me get up.

Or not.

“Joy! Come quick!”

I jumped off the bed and ran into the kitchen, where Savana was. dscn35901                           Mom had fallen off of a ladder or something, and was laying on the ground, not moving.

“What happened?” I whispered, not wanting to make too much noise.

“I don’t know.  Maybe you’d better call 911.” dscn35921                          I grabbed the phone off of the table and punched in the number.dscn35931                          “My Mom fell and she is not moving. I don’t know, maybe a concussion. What should I do? You are sending an ambulance over? Okay. Yeah.” I gave them my address and told Savana.

All that was left to do was wait.

Lexie

Joy’s Journal 2-1

And now is the moment you have all been waiting for! (Even though you didn’t know it.) My cousin  begged me to do another Joy’s Journal, and I agreed. So here it is!

Hello everyone who is reading this. I’m Joy Fully, sister to Faith Fully, Grace Fully and Hope Fully. I love art, people say I am good at it. My best friend is Savana Parker, and I live in a smallish town. I have a chronic illness,  (While chronic means lasting more than six months, I was born with it, so it is unlikely that it will ever go away.)  which means that I am always in a lot of pain, and it takes longer to heal than normal people. Sometimes I have to skip things, that I would really like to go to. I kept this a secret for a long time, but I learned that sometimes it is better to tell.

dscn34421                      Anyway Savanna was at my house that day. I had just gotten a dog. My parents apparently decided that I would do smarter things if I had a dog. (Don’t ask.)           dscn34411                      Savana and I randomly started talking.

“I can’t wait for school! Art class, YAY!” This was Joy. dscn34441                          “Um Joy.” Savana said.

dscn34451                          “Yeah?”

“You know how my parents are divorced?” I nodded. “Well, my Mom decided to send me to boarding school for the year, because she thinks I’ll get better care there.” Savana’s eyes filled with tears.

Suddenly I felt crushed. I barely got through last year with Savana. How would I do it without her?

Lexie

Joy’s Journal Part Fifteen-The Finale!

part one part two part three part four part five Part Six part seven part Eight Part Nine Part ten  Part Eleven Part Twelve part thirteen part fourteen

The end of my first week of camp we were going camping. The ‘fun’ part was hiking to get there. It was a four hour hike, one that I couldn’t take, but I didn’t want to tell my secret. I went, though it was hard for me. I wasn’t feeling very good at the beginning, and four hours of hiking wasn’t going to help.

Let me tell you about the worst/best thing I did at camp, since this is what changed my life.

DSCN8644[1]                        It all happened in a blur. Savanna pulled me aside to rest for a sec. Our leader, Bethany, was behind us.

“So……Joy. Tell me about your story.”DSCN8645[1]                       She pulled me up.

“Well, it’s about a girl named Joy.” Where was she going with this. DSCN8646[1]                       We started out again.

“Is it you, or is this fictional?”

I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t tell her. “Fictional.”

“If it is fictional how come it is all things that you have done?” DSCN8648[1]                         She stopped me dead in my tracks.

“What do you mean? It is all fictional. This is not my journal!”

“How come it starts with ‘Welcome To My Journal.’?”

She got me. She knew. I looked around before starting. “You’re right. This was my journal. Joy was me.”

There was more than a trace of hurt in her voice. “How come you didn’t tell me? I wouldn’t tell anyone!”

“I didn’t tell anyone.”

“So if you are Joy, than does that mean you have the whole chronic illness thing?”

“Yes. This is my real life. I didn’t tell you because I hate being pitied. I wanted to ignore it, to not deal with it. I wanted to be normal.”

“Oh Joy, I am so sorry!”

Then I poured out the whole story, starting with when I started realizing I wasn’t normal. It took a lot of explaining. Savanna listened with horror, realizing just what I had to go through.

DSCN8649[1]                       Pretty soon we came upon the tent. Savanna, Bethany and I were the last ones, so we shared the last tent.

DSCN8650[1]                      We settled in. DSCN8652[1]                          Savanna and I kept talking. The other girls started asking about what we talking about. I made a choice. DSCN8653[1]                          I gathered everyone around.

“I have something to tell you. There is something I have been hiding. Something that is my real life. I can’t hide it any longer. I need to tell you.” I poured out my whole story.

Surprisingly the group took it well. They weren’t mad at me for hiding it, and they were very supportive.  Mia told me that I could talk to her whenever, and she would listen. Then they started telling me stuff about them. Each girl had a secret. Some of them were really small, like fighting with sisters, but one girl had diabetes, a chronic illness like me. Savanna was last. Her parents had just divorced, and that was why she spent so much time with me. DSCN8654[1]                     After we were done talking I heard Bethany whisper “Joy!”

“Do you want to go back to camp instead of hiking another ten hours?” I gladly accepted. I was glad I told. Now I could not do things that would hurt me, and not feel bad about it. I went back to camp, but I was fine being alone. I had things to plan.

SEPTEMBER 1.

I know I haven’t written in awhile. I am almost out of space, so I am just going to sum up the rest of the story. After I told people were more supportive. It took awhile for people to see just how bad I was, but they never minded if I skipped out on things. Now I have more friends, and I am happier. The best advice I got was ‘when you feel bad, just remember there are always people worse than you.’ I had gotten cards and gifts, and they made me feel good. It was inspiration enough to start a new project. I organized care packages to give to people worse than me, and it made me feel better too.

I don’t need this journal anymore. I have more friends, and though I have the same pain, having people who know about it helps. I am not the same anymore.

Signed Joyfully,

Joy.

Lexie