Tag Archive | girl with an illness

Joy’s Journal 2-24

I was still so ridiculously sick, but I finally had the hope I needed to get better. I started to reach out more when I needed help. I stopped answering the question “How are you” with “Good.”

That one small word had ruined everything.

But it was okay.

I remember the first time getting out of bed without help. I remember walking to my sister’s room and yelling “Boo” at her. She was so surprised, and it wasn’t just because I had scared her.

Elli, Ana, and Savana helped me so much. They were so supportive, especially when I couldn’t see myself getting better.

The end of year party at RiverView approached, and I made it a goal to be able to go. I knew there was a good chance I’d have to stay home, but it was nice to have something to get excited for.

One day close to the party I was bored, so Elli and Ana decided that now was the time we were going to pick out dresses. Honestly I had totally forgotten about that at all.

 I didn’t really have any ones of my own that I liked, because dress-requiring events were not my thing. But being the youngest of four girls, I had acquired all the outgrown dresses. By this point I didn’t even know what I had. My sisters gave them to me, and I stuck them in the back of my closet. 

This is a LOT of dresses

So, instead of going shopping, which I wouldn’t have been up for, Elli and Ana found a ton of dresses, and I tried them on.

We put Callie and Savana on video chat so them could help choose, and then I started trying dresses on.

This red dress is not for me

The first one I tried on was red, long, and very pretty. But not on me.

Opioion

“Ooh, I like that one!” Callie exclaimed after we had decided against it. “Can I have it?”

“No.” I laughed. “My sisters would kill me. Why do you think I have so many dresses?”

I tried on more dresses, but they were all the same. Very pretty. But not on me. I tried on floofy ones and tight ones, pink ones and yellow ones, flowered dresses, cat hair covered, shiny dresses. Hope has weird taste in dresses. 

Finally we came to a white dress that was apparently tie-dyed. I didn’t recognize this one.

tie dye dresses are cool guys

But I loved it. It fit, and it was pretty.

We all decided it was ‘the one’.

Yes, Savana is weird

“That looks so much better on you than on-” I saw Callie give Savana a look, and she stopped.

“On who?”

“Anyone but you.” She finally said.

I was confused, but dropped it. “Can we look at shrugs?” I suggested. I knew I had some, and I was kind of self-conscious about my pale arms. (And pale face, and legs. and hands, and feet, and nose, and neck.)

It's perfect

So we looked at shrugs. I have less of those than dresses.

We looked at a few shrugs, and then I found Savana’s green shrug. It was perfect.

yup

“That looks so great Joy!” Savana told me.

And I noticed she was wearing the bow. “But don’t you want it back?”

“No Joy. It’s yours.”

The day of the party I wasn’t feeling great, but I really wanted to go, and I couldn’t disappoint my friends, so I went. Savana’s mom went with my mom and me, because she was going to pick Savana up, same as the other parents.

Savana’s mom and mine talked the whole way there, but I fell asleep.

When we got there I ran up to my room, only to find that they weren’t there. Two girls I didn’t know answered instead, their hair and makeup half done.

“Savana is with Callie now honey,” Savana’s moms said.

So I followed her to the other end of the hall.

Finally together again

The two girls squealed when I opened the door. “Joy!” They both hugged me. Savana’s mom said hi, and then they left us to talk.

We started getting ready, among talking.I had never gotten to know Callie, but she squealed and talked, and I felt right at home.

It's so pretty

“Do you like my dress? It’s orange, but I really like how it looks.”

And then randomly, she said: Oh, we are going to be such good friends, now that you are here!” Callie exclaimed.

I must have looked surprised, because Callie stopped looking sure of herself. “If you want to, I mean.”

“Of course I want to! I just haven’t been very nice, and well-”

“Whatever. We were different then. Now is so much different, and so are you.”

Lexie

Joy’s Journal 2-18

And I am back with another part to Joy’s Journal! Things are starting to get interesting now. (Sort of)

Anyway, here’sthe last part.

I felt really bad that morning. I really didn’t want to get out of bed that morning. Savana had left, but I stayed in bed.

Finally I realized that if I didn’t show up in the next few minutes people would start to wonder.

So I finally pulled myself out of bed and threw on a jacket over my pajamas.I dropped my shoe

I struggled to shove on a pair of shoes, being so frantic to get them on that I dropped them.

 Hair everywhere

I finally was ready, and hurried to class, but I was really late and they had started already.

I was late

“And tell me Miss Joy, why are you late today? Are you sick?”

“No Mrs Green.” I avoided looking at her. I didn’t want to see the disappointment in her eyes. 

“So why are you late?” Her voice was gentle, but her eyes had a harsh glint.”

“I just overslept.”

“I’ll let you off with a warning today, but I’ll have to write you up if it happens again.” 

I was a few minutes later than everyone else to the rest of my classes, because I just didn’t have the energy to go fast. My classes seemed so far apart, like climbing a mountain, rather than walking to the other end of the hall.

Gym class is always hard, but that day was worse than usual because the teacher targeted me.

Explainy

We were working on cartwheels. I have no idea why the whole class needed to know how to do a cartwheel. Mrs Andy probably explained, but I wasn’t paying attention till I heard my name.

“Joy, will you show us a cartwheel?”

“I can’t do a cartwheel.” I whispered. Actually I probably could, but it had been so long, and I really didn’t have the energy.

“Come on now, don’t be shy.”

This is Joy

 I tried. I really did. But I didn’t have any energy, and just being in front of all those people freaked me out so much I could hardly function. 

Falling of course

And when I tried to do the actual cartwheel I fell down. Everyone laughed. Laying on the ground I wondered if I had to get up, or if I could just stay down there forever. I wouldn’t have to face everyone.

But I knew they were staring at me, so I got up.

Talking to them

And there was Savana and Callie. They had seen everything. Savana gave an apologetic smile, but I walked away. I was sure they were laughing at me too

Lexie