Joy’s Journal 2-21

This is the part I posted last.

This part doesn’t have any pictures, just words, because I don’t have any pictures for this part, and I don’t have a way to take some.

After that after hike, after I told, I went home. It wasn’t my choice, and I didn’t want to, but everyone decided that it was for the better. 

At this point I was so sick I didn’t really care. I had wanted to go home the whole time, but was too scared to say anything.

“But what about Mom?” I had asked Ellen.

“She’s getting better, and she wanted you to come home.”

So I did.

I took all my school stuff home, and communicated with my teachers to get the assignments and turn them in.

After like a week of doing almost nothing but sleeping and being bored, I started my schoolwork. I had to back up a lot to understand everything that I hadn’t really done before.

It was frustrating. There was so MUCH of it, things I didn’t care about, things I didn’t want to do.

I just didn’t have the motivation to do it. What was the point if I wasn’t ever going to get better. When would I use it? Would I ever get better? Would I be stuck in this bed for the rest of my life? Even if I did get better, would the better be worse than how I was before all this?

I didn’t tell anyone, and my schoolwork just heaped higher and higher, and with no one to help me do it, I don’t think I ever even ended up doing it all.

Savana and I spent a lot of time talking through the internet. She didn’t understand why I came home. Sometimes I felt like she thought I was lying about being so sick, and that I really just wanted to get away from her.

It wasn’t true, but I didn’t know how to tell her that.

 

All these things piled up on top of me, and made it hard to focus on school, letting alone getting better.

I was trying to believe I would get better, but it was hard.

Lexie

One thought on “Joy’s Journal 2-21

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s