Me: Did I post today?
Mom: No, you did not.
Me: Why not?
Mom: Your friend dropped marbles on it from the top of the Eiffel tower. Your friend was on top of the Eiffel tower because the sky is blue. That mattered because she wanted to paint it red. She wanted to paint it red because she hated the color blue. She hated the color blue because it tastes bad. She knew it tasted bad because she once tried to eat the sky. So she thought if she painted it red it would taste better. She could not find a paintbrush so she used marbles. She was throwing the marbles at the sky and they fell on my post and destroyed it.
That is why I didn’t post today.
On a side note: My friend ran out of red paint to throw at the sky, so if you have red paint you are willing to donate please jet pack up to the top of the Eiffel tower and throw it at the sky.