Joy’s Second Journal

Hello everyone who is reading this. I’m Joy Fully, sister to Faith Fully, Grace Fully and Hope Fully. I love art, people say I am good at it. My best friend is Savana Parker, and I live in a smallish town. I have a chronic illness,  (While chronic means lasting more than six months, I was born with it, so it is unlikely that it will ever go away.)  which means that I am always in a lot of pain, and it takes longer to heal than normal people. Sometimes I have to skip things, that I would really like to go to. I kept this a secret for a long time, but I learned that sometimes it is better to tell.

dscn34421                      Anyway Savanna was at my house that day. I had just gotten a dog. My parents apparently decided that I would do smarter things if I had a dog. (Don’t ask.)           dscn34411                      Savana and I randomly started talking.

“I can’t wait for school! Art class, YAY!” This was Joy. dscn34441                          “Um Joy.” Savana said.

dscn34451                          “Yeah?”

“You know how my parents are divorced?” I nodded. “Well, my Mom decided to send me to boarding school for the year, because she thinks I’ll get better care there.” Savana’s eyes filled with tears.

Suddenly I felt crushed. I barely got through last year with Savana. How would I do it without her?

dscn35881                         Savana was at my house that day. It was not a good day. It didn’t help that this was going to be one of my last days with Savana before she left.

CLUNK

dscn35891                         “I’ll go see what that is.” Savana offered.

I was glad. I didn’t really want to get up. Savana knew that, and she wouldn’t make me get up.

Or not.

“Joy! Come quick!”

I jumped off the bed and ran into the kitchen, where Savana was. dscn35901                           Mom had fallen off of a ladder or something, and was laying on the ground, not moving.

“What happened?” I whispered, not wanting to make too much noise.

“I don’t know.  Maybe you’d better call 911.” dscn35921                          I grabbed the phone off of the table and punched in the number.dscn35931                          “My Mom fell and she is not moving. I don’t know, maybe a concussion. What should I do? You are sending an ambulance over? Okay. Yeah.” I gave them my address and told Savana.

All that was left to do was wait.

dscn36721                       A couple of hours later I went to see Mom in the hospital.

“What exactly happened?” I asked, as no one at home would tell me.

“Remember when I had Scarlet Fever?” Mom asked. I nodded. “Well, what the doctors think happened is that it triggered a chronic illness. I have been feeling pretty bad for awhile, so that would explain it.”

“But don’t you have to be be born with it?” I asked.

“You were born with it, but it also can be triggered by a really bad illness, like scarlet fever. It also can be genetic, meaning that it’s likely that you are not the only one who has it in our family.”

“What happened with the falling thing anyway?” I asked.

“I don’t really know.” Mom confessed. “I just was there, and then on the floor.”

“When are you going to be released from the hospital?” I wanted to know.

“Not for awhile, I don’t think.” She glanced at me. “Which brings me to something you need to know. I talked to your dad, and we decided with me being in the hospital, that we are going to send you to boarding school with Savana.” dscn36731                         I rocketed out of my chair. “What!” I screeched. “What about Hope and Faith? What about me? I have a chronic illness too! How’s that going to work?”dscn36741                        Mom put her hands up, like ‘what am I going to do?’ She reacted calmly. “Joy, Faith is old enough to care for Hope, and they both can handle being alone at home a lot. I don’t think you can. Savana will be there too. Maybe you can be roomies”

“But-”

“This is not up for discussion Joy. We already decided.”dscn36751                          I buried my face in my hands and cried.

dscn36971                         After we came home from the hospital I sat in my bed, being sad. I didn’t want to leave my family OR Savana. I wished we could all just stay here. Maybe, maybe I can get out of it. But then I would have to leave Savana.

dscn36991                          “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRG.”

Savana came out of nowhere and came to sit on my bottom bunk.

“Hi Joy! Why are you screaming? I’m leaving tomorrow, did you know? I’ll miss you so much.”

“Hi Savana. I’m screaming because I’m frustrated.”

“Why are you frustrated?”

“Because my parents decided to send me to boarding school with you, and I don’t want to leave them.”

“That’s great!–for me. What about your sisters? Aren’t they coming with you? You will be able to see them too.”

“My parents decided on only me-because I am ‘hard to take care of.’” I burst out crying.

“Oh Joy, it’s not all THAT bad. You could be going alone. At least we will have each other.” dscn37001                       Savana jumped up.

“I’ll be right back!” dscn37011                         She came and dumped a bunch of clothes on my bed, trying to distract me probably.

“I think you should take all of these.”dscn37021                        Then she put one more thing on the pile-a very special shrug of hers that I had always loved.

“I think you should take this too.”

“I can’t! It’s yours!”

“I am giving it to you. When things happen, and you know they will, you can be reminded that I’m still here for you.”

Today was the day we drove to River Valley school. It was five hours away, too far too come and go every day so we were to be boarding students.

dscn37831           I don’t know what happened when we got to the checkout desk, but Savana suddenly lost it.

dscn37841             “Joy Fully is in room 876 and Sava-”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I wanna be with JOY!”

“Sorry. You are in room 43-”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I won’t do it unless I can be with JOY!” dscn37851           Savana’s mom stepped up.

“Actually Joy probably should be with someone she knows, or she won’t take it well. She has been known to do some not so smart things when she is sad, and she might try to run away if she isn’t with Savana.”

I hoped she was making some of that up, but it worked, and we got to room together.

“You too may go up to room 768 but Mrs Parker stays here.”

We said tearful goodbyes and went up to our room. dscn37861            It wasn’t much, but a place to call our own.  I saw a bunk bed, a ladder/shelf, a desk (Why not two?) and a sink. dscn37871           Tired from hours in the car I jumped up to the top bunk and fell asleep. dscn37881           Savana jumped up to me, I don’t know how much later.

“Someone came to our door and asked for Joy Fully to come to the nurse’s office.” dscn37901            The place wasn’t much bigger than ours, decorated the same way. The nurse sat in a chair. dscn37911

“Hello?”

“JOY!”

Suddenly I knew the nurse’s name=. She used to be my school nurse, back when I was little.

“Ellen!”

“What are you doing here Joy? Don’t you have a good school?”

Tearfully I told her my story, ending with: “And with my chronic illness and all my parents decided to send me here.”

“You still have that?”

“The chronic illness?”

“I was afraid this would happen.” Ellen groaned.

“What?”

“When you were younger your chronic illness wasn’t nearly as bad. I was hoping it would go away, but it only got worse it seems.”

“All too soon.”

dscn37921             I hopped on the top bunk. dscn37931            Ellen jumped after me.

“Mind if I give you some advice?”

“Yes please.”

“If you aren’t felling well skip a day of classes. Don’t push yourself, or you could make yourself extremely sick.”

Oh how I wish I’d listened.

dscn42531

“JOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!”

I turned over and put my pillow over my head. “Be quiet Hope!”

“Oh Joy,” Savana Laughed. “We are at this boarding school, River Valley, not home.”

dscn42541                              I sat up. She was right. A bell rung. I realized that I had slept in my clothes and I hurried out of bed to change.

dscn42551                         I was trying to pull my hair into braids, when the bell rang.

“Is that the breakfast bell?”

“No Joy, that is the late bell.” She took off running, leaving me behind. dscn42561                                                                                               When I got to my class they were  doing names. I had had a hard time falling asleep the night before and I was really tiered.

dscn42581                                                                          The teacher was about as far away as she could get from me. I rested my head against the table for just a minute. And I fell asleep.  dscn42601                          I felt a tap on my head. “Hello?” The teacher said. “And what name do you have the honer of having?” dscn42611                           “Ummm.” I stuttered. “What was the question? Oh, I won’t know it. I fell asleep.” I admitted hesitantly.

“What is your name?”

“Joy Fully.”

Her expression softened. “It’s okay Joy. You can get a pass and go to the nurse’s office. Just try to stay awake from now on.” dscn42591                      The Teacher walked back up to her desk. 
dscn42621
                          As I walked out of the room I saw a girl raise her hand.

“I forgot a pencil.”

“Then use Roberta’s!” She snapped.

Why was she being so nice to me? I wondered. Then it dawned on me. She knew about my chronic illness.

dscn44071                          I was at my door, trying to get in. The lock wouldn’t open, and Savana wasn’t around to help me. dscn44102                       Suddenly this girl walked up.

“Need some help?”

“Yeah.”

dscn44111                           I stepped aside and let her do her thing. In seconds the door was open. I took a step toward it, but The girl motioned toward her own door, the one next to it.

“Wanna come in, Joy!”

“Sure, wait, how do you know my name?”

“You are the one who fell asleep in class right?”

She opened her door, and we walked in. It was one of the more expensive, nicer rooms, that only the richest families could afford. I realized that the girl must be part of the ‘popular group’ for they were the only ones with expensive rooms. dscn44121                         She hopped up onto the bed and motioned for me to follow, but I stayed on the stool.

“Yes, that’s me.”

“Good. I admire your courage Joy. I’m Roberta, but my friends call me Bob.”

We talked until the dinner bell rang, and when it did Roberta invited me to sit with her, and I said yes. Because I liked Roberta.

Savana was spending more time with her horseback riding friends, and we didn’t have any classes together, so I started hanging out with Roberta. Her group was the popular one, the one everyone loved and wanted to be with. This group wasn’t all that great though…..dscn44411                        While we were eating lunch I saw Savana wandering around, looking for a place to sit. dscn44421                          I waved her over to where I was.

“Sit with us Savana.”

“Her! Sit with US?” Serenity answered. “Nope. Go sit with the rest of your loser friends.”

“Then I’ll come sit with you.”dscn44441                      But Savana had already turned away.

It wasn’t bad though. It was kind of fun being in the popular group here. But really I just missed Savana.

I don’t know how they do it. Really I don’t.

At that moment ‘it’ was have a sleepover, stay up till two in the morning, and then go to classes. The rest of the girls at Roberta’s sleepover had slept in her room, but since mine was right next door I went to my own.

dscn44871                        And when I woke up I was exhausted. I knew I couldn’t do classes that day. I just couldn’t. dscn44881                          I saw that there was a notebook right next to my bed. dscn44891                          So I grabbed the book and scribbled something. dscn44901                          Sick today can’t come to classes -Joydscn44911                         “Can you deliver this to the secretary?” I asked Savana. She grabbed the note and read it. dscn44921

“I guess.” She sounded worried. “Are you really going to be okay by yourself?”

“Don’t worry Savana.” I insisted. “The secretary will send the nurse down here to make sure I’m really sick.”

“Okaayyyy.” She still sounded worried. “Feel better Joy.”

Then she was gone. dscn44931                        And pretty soon Ellen arrived.

“Oh it’s you Joy. I wasn’t sure who was in room 768.”

“Yup it’s me.”

“Normally I would check to see if you are really sick, but with you, I think it’s fine. You can stay in here today.”

“Good.”

“How are you feeling.”

And that’s when I lost it.

“What do you think! Would I not be going to classes if I was okay?” dscn44941                       Ellen plopped in the chair.

“Oh Joy.” She sighed then seemed to come up with something. “Have a nice day.”

And then she was gone.

This was only the beginning of such sleepovers. I would have skipped them, but I was scared that my friends wouldn’t like me. So I went to all of them, staying in my room to sleep every day after. I fell farther and farther behind in my classes, but at the moment I didn’t really care. I just wanted to make it through alive.

dscn46601                         Roberta was the first to pick up on it. One day she confronted me about it.  dscn46611                         “Joy, I want to know why every time we have a sleepover you skip classes.”

“Um.” What could I say to that? “I have a reason, but for now you don’t need to know.”

Roberta was not satisfied with that. She told the rest of our group about it, and the were always pestering me, being quite mean. They didn’t believe me, and they really wanted to know. One time I even caught Roberta reading my journal. dscn46621                         After one really hard day I was taking a nap. Savana came down to our room.dscn46631                         “Joy are you okay?” dscn46641                          And then to my surprise I had smacked her, and she was laying on the ground.

I cried myself to sleep.

For Christmas Break we had awhile off. Savana’s parents were taking her home, and since Dad would be home most of the time it was decided I could come too.

dscn4665          Savana’s mom dropped me off at home. Nervously I went into the house.

“Joy!”

“Mom!”

She looked a lot better. I was glad.

“Oh Joy, I’m so glad you are here! We have so much to do. Let’s start with making cookies!” dscn4671            I looked at the clock. It was already nine forty, and I’d had a long day. At school lights out wasn’t till ten but I was always so tired I went to bed before nine. dscn4666              “Mom.” I started. “I’ve had a long day. I’m going to bed. You can make cookies if you want, but I’ll help you in the morning.” And I did.

After we were finished making cookies the next morning Mom announced we were going to the zoo. This time I just rolled my eyes.

“Take the little kids to the zoo. I’m staying here.”

That was a good day. But the best part came when I went upstairs. dscn4672               “Oh yay.” I was muttering as I walked up the stairs. “They got rid of the extra bunk bed because Grace went to college, and I left. Now how are we supposed to sleep extra people?”dscn4673            I started climbing up the ladder.

“GRACE!!!”

“JOY!!!”

My sister was home from college.               dscn4676    Awhile later my cousins Elli and Ana arrived.  As we were making cookies in the kitchen Elli asked about how I was dealing with my school. dscn4677              “Welllllll.” I was afraid I was going to cry. “All my friends want to know about my secret, and are not being very nice to me. I don’t know how to make them stop.” dscn4679           Little Ana spoke up. “If you want them to stop, just tell them your secret.”

“I guess I can do that.”

Elli spoke next. “Joy it turned out well last time. There’s no reason it can’t turn out well again.”

dscn4680                         Right after school my group met in Serenity and Roberta’s room. That’s when I decided to make my move. I was going to come straight out and tell them, but they started taunting me about it first.

“So Joy?” Serenity asked. “When are you going to tell us your secret?”

I took a deep breath. “Right now.” And then I poured out my whole story. I told them everything. I didn’t want to deal with them trying to find out my secret. And to my surprise…..

dscn4681

They laughed.

“Wow Joy!” Riley said. “You are a good storyteller. Now tell us the real stuff.”

“B but” I sputtered. “I DID!”

“No you did not.”

dscn4682

This time I tried to be calmer. “Please believe me guys. I’m telling the truth.

“Is a chronic illness even a real thing?” Serenity asked. “It’s not. Tell us the truth.”

Now I was just so mad. I yanked my feet out from under me and stood on the chair. I probably shouldn’t have started yelling at her, but no one’s perfect. “Not a real thing? How could you think that? Don’t you get it? I’m not lying to you! Do you think I would say that I had something this bad if I didn’t? I don’t want to have it! And I didn’t want to tell you either but I did, and THIS is how you treat me!”

Serenity was now almost on fire. “I’ve tried to be friends with you! I’ve tried to get past how stupid you are and make a friend. But no, you are just taking advantage of us. No one could have things so bad happen to them!”Serenity got up and left. Apparently I wasn’t worth being with.

A lot she knew.

dscn4683                            Now Riley got up and left. dscn4684

“How could you, Joy?” Roberta asked. “I thought you were my friend. But you Lied to me!”

After I told my ‘friends’ my secret they left me. No one belived me, and they thought I was taking advantenge of them. Savana had been hanging around with other friends, and I don’t even think she noticed anything was wrong.

I spent most of my free time alone, often crying.

joy's rest

One day I was flopped on my bed in our room. I wasn’t really doing anything in particular.

Callie's here

Savana and a girl I didn’t know came in. I watched this girl look around the room, barely noticing me.

What-

The girl looked over her shoulder in my direction.

“Your roommate is the girl who lied to everyone?” She gasped. “How can you stand it?”

Savana didn’t actually agree to it, but neither did she deny it. “Yeah, that’s Joy.” She just said.

Leanny

“Come on Callie.”

Then they left without even a second glance at me.

Bedred

That next morning I could barely pull myself out of bed so I didn’t bother. It wasn’t like anyone wanted me there anyway. I would have asked Savana to take a note up to the office, but she had already left so I just went back to sleep.

A couple minutes after the bell rang I heard a knock on my door.

“Can I come in?” It was Ellen.

Blondeish

“What’s wrong Joy?” She asked

“I don’t feel good.”

“That’s understandable, but why didn’t you tell someone you wouldn’t be coming?”

“Savana wasn’t here, and I didn’t feel like getting up,”

Layers

Ellen sat down in the chair. “Is everything alright?”

I thought about just telling her that I was sick so I wouldn’t have to tell her about the girls picking on me, but I told the truth. “A few girls have been picking on me because of my illness.”

“You know, you can’t let them hurt you.” She told me. “You have to decide that you don’t care about they they are saying.”

“Sure.” I said sarcastically.

“I have to go now,” She said. “but if you need me I’m here for you,”

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